I used to believe that I am not lucky. I told myself that I created my own chances in each case, by working hard. Then I learned that luck depends on the point of view. I noticed more areas that I am lucky.
Back then, I even accepted that there actually was an exception in my life. That was my husband. It was a chance.
Choosing a partner is a chance, but then it takes hard work and time to turn that chance into reality and to ensure its continuity, just as a tree grows and spreads roots.
‘Friend for life’ is one of my favorite statements in Turkish. At first glance, we are very different from each other. He’s more serious whereas I smile a lot. In general, he is known by his uprising character. He opposes the current. He does not like organizing. He does not like to talk much. Social media, what’s up messaging does not fit him at all. He looks at life in detail. He tries to plan and work fine, I’m exactly the opposite, but when you combine it like two halves of an apple… You begin to look at the whole thing.
How come? As a couple, when we were a family, we shared life as much as we were supporting the continuation of our existence as individuals, thanks to his support. Being a woman in Turkey is not easy. When you are married, you are now expected to repress your identity as an individual. You live with your spouse’s identity, your mother’s identity, but I did not. I could still protect my personal identity. I continued my friendship with men and women. My friends have became his partners too. He was reliant; contrary to making me dependent, he allowed me to be connected. I was always in a hurry to be sure about us, while we were at the beginning of our relationship. I wanted to know if I was valued, I wanted to make sure myself that I was loved. I wanted to trust. And it happened!
He has always been my port to take refugee in my depressed moments since I was 18. When I think I’m exploited I’m angry at the managers who upset me, he is the man who is more angry and sadder than me. When I left work, I shared my feelings with him just in front of the door. If I have some success in my business life, his support is considerable. In other words, according to today’s terminology, he is ‘Engaged Men’.
Today is his birthday. I wanted to share my feelings not only with him, but with everyone who whether recognizes me or not.
Yes, I am lucky that he is my life partner. We grew up together, matured, shared. In more beautiful years, I wish to share life with you, with our son, with our loved ones…
Happy birthday Adlan… So glad I have you!
I love you.
Aylin