I have not been able to write for months. While I am making plans to write from the very beginning, even before a week has passed, the country is saddened by shocking events that are coming in order. The words are becoming meaningless. I find it too daring to interpret events, write articles in a knowing position on these conditions. Conveying emotions independent from events, writing personal experiences in different subjects are also seem to me unfavorable and I’m giving up. It is this year that I have done many actions for only to give up, to postpone, to worry.
I’m doing the yearly account of myself by we’re only a day away from 2017. I will write my hopes, wishes and goals for 2017, but how did I pass this year? There are positive sides either. First, I’ve begun to learn volitional or involuntary patience; I’ve tried to confront my fears, to force myself or to know. Although I have a lot of frustrations, I’ve done quite a bit of different things. I founded a company. I started to write even if it was not in a regular blog continuity. I made a conference. I spent more time with my son. I do not like the uncertainties, I am an entrepreneur, I tried to create and grow a business in such a wavy water. I have created new relationships with a new identity, transforming existing relationships and trying to make sense of them again. I still have not overcome my future concerns. Even if I am still saying Carpe Diem, I could not close the opposition in my mind; but I feel it. My inner energy rises again, I meet my inner self again and I am starting to be happy with my new personality.
My dreams, passions, my desire for learning, my energy are always very high… My awareness of what I have is constantly increasing, if I do not consider the inner conflict in my mind. Let’s move to 2017… Life is going on. A new year, 365 days starting from scratch is a good beginning because it gives the energy of finishing the jobs that are not done. Those living in Turkey are more excited to begin 2017. We hope to leave deaths, terror, conflicts, despair behind in this year. I feel the same way. 2017 will be the year of new beginnings and miracles.
“Do not worry that my order is gonna disrupted, my life will turn upside down; how can you know if your life in the downside will be better than the top? “(Shams-i Tebrizi)
It is not wrong to say that the country I live in has actually turned upside-down in the past year. The changes in our personal lives are not counted as too small in this respect, but as Shams said, in these ups and downs, what the new order will bring to us is somewhat related to our internal motivation and approach. This year, I made a 2017 list again. Sports, diet, learning new things, seeing new countries are listed as classics. This year, what are the differences?
Living the life as if it’s a miracle and believing in it
Not mere sport but holistic health
A lot of personal time
Put some time aside for handicraft
Taking my personal web page out of expertise articles and turning it into an open diary
Being honest to myself
I wanted to finish this post with the poem “On Life” by famous Indian poet and author Rabindranath Tagore. I’ve known him in the middle school with his novel named Gora from the library. I hope that this inspirational man will give us the courage we need in 2017, I wish a new year with more laughter, less sadness.
I guess the biggest fear of us is looking like ourselves…
Compromising the softness of our heart,
Discovery of our naive aspects,
Understanding our discouragement,
Sharing our fears
Is like the biggest sign that we will suffer.
Under our shells
How adept we are to keep ourselves…
… And how strongly we are protected, behind our shields.
Without feeling, without touching, showing our love.
Oysters, sea minarets, mussels. Like lashes and turtles.
Does actually this cracked hard shell protect us?
Nobody can hurt our feelings, our beliefs, our self, right?
Or does it harm us, this crust, that timidity?
Does it overshadow what we feel, does it not reflect our true identity?
Is it repressing our feelings, preventing us from holding hands?
If I shine like a star and become as bright as a star,
What matters if they confuse me with a firefly?
Maybe even the toughest heart
-To the firefly’s volatile, innocent, childish manners-
Is not enough to raise a hand?
I will be understood and reflect like a mirror
On the one in front of me
Maybe he will be solved.
When it comes to see a sincere and unsafe, unarmed person
If we can see this.
If we do not say such people don’t exist anymore.
If we are not in the need of confidence that much.
If we do not be afraid of breaking,
Grieving, being hurt.
What if we could get another blow?
If we open it again, throw the crust down.
If we try. If we take the risk. If we fail. It does not matter.
Again and again, if we try without getting bored.
And if we embrace each other again.
It’s just like the old one.
It’s like that fifteen years before we did not understand what it is.
Then we will notice.
How much we miss each other.
What we have accumulated, how much we miss our lost values.
We came together and we go together.
Time is little, to share, to hug.
The geography we live in is difficult, the conditions are heavy.
We need to calm the heart further.
Heavy baskets on our backs, every day.
And the conditions are not improving anyhow.
We need a lot of love.
On the horizon a black winter looks.
But we will get past them each other.
Break them hard, your heavy shells.
Get rid of this burden.
The shells are not for protection, on the contrary they harm us.
They are condemning us to loneliness.
And we’re all stars.
What matters if they confuse us with fireflies?